I see you. I see you taking night classes in silence while your children sleep and your spouse is in the field. I see you spending hours, days, years of your life job hunting. Filling out hundreds of applications only to be told you aren’t the “perfect” fit, or worse getting no response at all. I see you working jobs far below your capabilities, for pay that barely pays your Daycare. I see you biting your nails over your pile of bills as  you wait for a CDC spot to open up at your new duty station. I see you hustling. Desperately pleading with your friends on Facebook to buy the inventory you maxed out your credit card to get. I see you leaving the only career you’ve ever known in the name of student loans and car payments. 

I see you,  because you’re amazing. Sure, sometimes you get down, but then you get up. You always get up. No matter how many jobs you don’t get, how many degrees you can’t use, you keep getting up. I love when people say “well it could be worse” or “this is what you signed up for.” As if you could have passed on the love of your life because they chose an inconvenient profession. I feel sorry for those people because they don’t know what it’s like to love someone so much you’d make any sacrifice to have a life with them. Yes, it could always be worse, but your struggle is real. It’s real, and I see you, because military spouses are the most resilient people I know.

So be kind to each other. When your friends are hawking beauty products on Facebook, buy some. When someone is venting on the spouse page, let them. Offer them kindness and hope instead of judgement. When you’re leaving a great job, try to fill it with a fellow milspouse. Be a part of the solution. See each other, support each other. We are all in this together.